Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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