I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
