Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
