I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
