CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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