I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize