Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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