also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
