oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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