The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
