I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
