I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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