I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
