Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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