I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
