He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
