I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he's gonorrhea incarnate
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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