no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize