And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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