so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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