Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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