I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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