Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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