either way he was missing a nipple.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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