my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
