i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
