i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
