so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
