i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
