I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
