nut hugger
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
