I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So squirting runs in the family.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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