So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
