Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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