just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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