Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
handjob tips. give me some.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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