Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
