Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
