To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
