This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize