You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
