All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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