you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
