I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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