doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My room smells like vodka and shame
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize