The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
