I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
