Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
