remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
