And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
