We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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