Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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