Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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