her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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