so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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