Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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