I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize