the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
