Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
