Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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