i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
