so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
