I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
