I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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