what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
