i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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