hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
